Who are the best and worst football commentators?

Football commentators. The people armchair viewers love to hate.

There are plenty of atrocious and infuriating callers of the beautiful game out there, and also a handful of brilliant ones, but who makes my top 10 best and worst?

And before anyone pipes up about Andy Townsend, I’ve included co-commentators in the list too!

Let’s start with the good first:

10. Mike Ingham, BBC 5Live

Ingham is an entertaining commentator for those of you who are avid 5live listeners. Hardly ever culpable of making a mistake, he blends an enthusiastic commentary style with a thorough knowledge of the game. More importantly, he puts his 5live colleagues to shame.

9. Simon Brotherton, BBC

Brotherton is without doubt one of the BBC’s most underrated commentators. Experienced and articulate, he calls some of the biggest games on the Premier League calendar for Match of the Day with great success. Like Ingham, he hardly makes a mistake and is definitely worthy of a place on this countdown.

8. Clive Tyldesley, ITV

I’ve been known to call Tyldesley ‘Alive Clive’ due to his excitable style (he often sounds like a Dalek too), but generally he is a very capable commentator. His greatest work for ITV is probably the 1999 Champions League final, but can be prone to some occasional errors too. He gets bonus points for sitting next to Andy Townsend for two hours.

7. Rob Hawthorne, Sky Sports

Hawthorne is part of Sky’s respected commentary line-up, and has often called some high-profile matches. Not least the memorable Manchester derby where United’s Michael Owen snatched a 96th-minute winner in a 4-3 win. Looking back at Hawthorne’s commentary for that match on YouTube, it’s safe to say he did a fantastic job.

6. Jon Champion, ESPN

Perhaps the most respected commentator in the media, Champion is vastly experienced having worked for the BBC, ITV and most recently ESPN. His commentary of Owen’s wondergoal against Argentina at the 1998 World Cup will forever live in the memory of England fans.

5. Peter Drury, ITV & Fox Soccer

Often unfairly dubbed ‘Peter Dreary’, Drury is a well-spoken and entertaining commentator. He has a remarkable knowledge of the game and thrives in the big moments during the biggest games. Arguably his most thrilling work was during last season’s Manchester City 3-2 QPR match for Fox Soccer, where Sergio Aguero scored a late title-clinching winner for City.

4. Steve Wilson, BBC

Wilson has often been overlooked for the biggest games on Match of the Day in favour of the much-maligned Guy Mowbray, but his commentary style is perhaps the clearest of them all. He has the ability to keep up with play using quick, engaging and efficient language, and rarely makes mistakes.

3. Martin Tyler, Sky Sports

Head honcho of Sky’s commentary team, Tyler’s career has spanned across numerous eras of football. Usually understated and reserving his enthusiasm for the biggest Premier League and European games, Tyler’s most famous piece of commentary came in Manchester United’s 3-2 win over Aston Villa in 2009, where 17-year-old Federico “Machedaaaaaa!” scored a last-gasp winner.

2. John Motson, BBC

“Motty” is the godfather of commentary. Having retired from calling the action at international tournaments, Motson typically covers games in London for Match of the Day. He is nudged down from the top spot due to what many critics have correctly said about his increasingly frail and error-laden commentary – but that should not detract from the 67-year-old’s marvellous career.

1. Jonathan Pearce, BBC

Pearce beats his famed BBC colleague to top spot by virtue of some memorable and flawless commentary. Without doubt the BBC’s finest live commentator, some of the most enjoyable work in his career came in 2001 during England’s 5-1 ‘Müllering’ of Germany in Munich, where he worked for Capital Gold Sport. The line “England have gone naff in Germany!” was just one of many gems that night.

And now, the bad (and in Mark Lawrenson’s case, the ugly):

10. Guy Mowbray, BBC

It is baffling to many armchair and pub viewers alike why Guy Mowbray continues to be awarded the biggest gigs in football commentary. He cannot bring himself to make a definitive judgement on many controversial incidents and he is usually off the pace with his languid and dull style. He should be afforded some respite from his many critics for his famous “Agueroooooooo” line in the climax to the 2011-12 Premier League season.

9. Chris Waddle, ESPN

Waddle is not shy of making criticisms of current players, but when you are responsible for one of the most painful moments in English football history, you can hardly hide. Alongside Champion at ESPN, he has a tendency to state the obvious and offers tired, useless analysis of live matches.

8. Alan Green, BBC 5Live

Green is another opinionated commentator who has drawn criticism from far and wide. His style is actually listenable and articulate, but he lets himself down by hovering over his criticisms of players for too long – often to the detriment of his output.

7. Robbie Savage, BBC 5Live

Savage has cultivated a punditry career seemingly out of thin air. He certainly uses up a lot of air too, with his frenzied commentary style for 5Live, and offers little or no original analysis. He has also become the voice of 5Live’s 606, which is the perfect place for his dim comments to be hidden amongst others.

6. Craig Burley, ESPN

One of the more enjoyable co-commentators on the list, Burley gets onto the bad side due to his unprofessional nature. He is often guilty of bullying Champion during live matches and, given Champion’s well-respected and insightful commentary, his obvious misplaced dislike for his colleague makes him appear in a bad light.

5. Steve Bower, BBC

Currently being groomed by the BBC for a commentary place in football’s biggest arenas, Bower is unworthy of such a privilege. He rarely gets enthused by big moments in matches and has a distinctly monotone style which feels out of place on Match of the Day.

4. Martin Keown, BBC

Making the grade for the BBC’s Euro 2012 coverage, Keown should count himself lucky that the Beeb ignore the hundreds of tweets about his commentary every time he picks up a co-commentators mic. Littering his calls with errors, mispronunciation and recycled clichés, Keown’s commentary is every bit as cringeworthy as his punditry.

3. Andy Townsend, ITV

There are few plastic Irishmen in this world, and if they are all like Andy Townsend, I hope none of them get a commentary job in their lives. Constantly stating the obvious, Townsend’s only redeeming feature is that he is not afraid to say if a player is offside, rather than the usual “it’s marginal” sitting-on-the-fence attitude.

2. Mark Lawrenson, BBC

“Lawro”, or rather, ‘LOL-o’ is prone to making awful puns and jokes during live commentary for the BBC. A fond wearer of revolting shirts and a model of the balding mullet, a tirade of abuse was directed his way during the Euro 2012 final for what the Twittersphere correctly perceived to be an abhorrent lesson in commentary. That he was partnered with Mowbray for the same match caused many viewers to switch over to ITV or Flog It on BBC2.

1. Mark Bright, BBC

I have no doubt that ‘Brighty’ is a nice enough bloke, but his commentary is useless. He deflates rather than inspires, confuses rather than enlightens and, more importantly, bores rather than delights. It is perhaps testament to the dearth of co-commentating depth-in-strength possessed by the BBC that Bright continues to journey to World Cups and European Championships. Bright is the strongest reason to ditch ex-player co-commentators, but if we didn’t have them, over half of this list would be null and void and I would not be blogging. So thanks Mark, it appears you do have a use after all.

The Forgotten Footballers

OK, so we all remember footballing legends’ careers when they’ve finally hung up their boots, but what of the once-famous players still plying their trade in modern football?

Below is a list of ‘forgotten footballers’ that I have compiled. See if you agree with my top 20 countdown.

20. Milan Baros

Still only 31, and fresh from a successful spell at Galatasaray, Baros gets onto the list by virtue of the fact he now plays for Banik Ostrava in his native Czech Republic – who knew that? I certainly didn’t, but Baros is again amongst the goals for what was his first ever club, scoring five times in nine games thus far.

19. Luca Toni

The World Cup-winning Italian striker has been something of a journeyman in his career so far – like many of the players in this countdown – but his stint at Bayern Munich will be remembered as his most successful. Toni left the German giants in 2010 for Roma, and has since played for Juventus and UAE side Al Nasr before returning to current club Fiorentina.

18. Asamoah Gyan

A controversial figure in Sunderland after leaving them on-loan for Al-Ain, Gyan has torn apart the UAE Pro-League for his new club, scoring 58 goals in 43 games so far.

17. Lucio

The big World Cup-winning centre-back made his name in Germany with Bayer Leverkusen and then Bayern Munich, but after moving to Italy he has drifted into relative anonymity after high-profile moves to Inter Milan and subsequently Juventus. The 35-year-old now plays for Sao Paulo.

16. Kevin Kuranyi

Famous for his immaculately-trimmed beard, Kuranyi has not played for Germany in international tournaments since his 2008 retirement. Prolific spells at Stuttgart and Schalke have been followed by an equally-good stint at Lokomotiv Moscow, where he has bagged 32 goals in 83 games – making his move to Russia all the more mysterious.

15. Adrian Mutu

Goalscoring, contractual issues and drug-taking are all chapters in Mutu’s career, but the Romanian striker has struggled to re-build it after testing positive for cocaine in 2010. Now playing for AC Ajaccio in France’s Ligue 1, Mutu’s 11 goals this season steered the Corsican side to safety – but only just.

14. Ricardo Quaresma

Once a player with dazzling pace and skill, Quaresma has failed to live up to the hype surrounding his potential and, after stints at Barcelona, Inter Milan, Chelsea and Porto, now finds himself playing for Al Ahli in Dubai. Quaresma still makes himself available for Portugal, but with Cristiano Ronaldo and Nani preferred to him on the wing, he has drifted into the tail-end of his career without creating much fuss.

13. Deco

Chelsea fans will likely remember the talented Brazilian playmaker, who is now 35 years old. He has previously played for Barcelona after winning the Champions League with Jose Mourinho at Porto in 2004. Deco now plays in his homeland for Fluminense.

12. Mido

Once highly thought of, Mido has gone off the radar – largely due to battles with his weight. After racking up his eleventh career club following a move to Barnsley, Mido has played just one game for the Tykes – all this for a striker who counts Ajax, Roma and Spurs amongst his former employers.

11. Junichi Inamoto

Junichi Inamoto was labelled a Japanese heartthrob after starring for his country during the 2002 World Cup which they co-hosted alongside South Korea. Now, after numerous spells at European clubs, the ex-Arsenal youth midfielder has moved back to Japan where he plays for Kawasaki Frontale in the J-League.

10. Juninho

Famous for his free-kicks, Juninho has had to endure heavy criticism for moving to the Middle East for money. He was one of the first big-name footballers to do so and has barely been mentioned since. His tally of 75 goals from midfield in just under 250 games for Lyon remains impressive, but after joining Al-Gharafa in Qatar he has not played to the same level. He now plays for New York Red Bulls in the MLS.

9. Rivaldo

It didn’t seem so long ago that Rivaldo notched a hat-trick for Barcelona against Manchester United with a spectacular overhead-kick. Even fresher in the memory is his goal against England en route to winning the 2002 World Cup with Brazil. Rivaldo still plays at the age of 41, and has chased big-money moves to Uzbekistan and Angola before settling at current club Sao Caetano in his homeland.

8. Quincy Owusu-Abeyie

Perhaps a striker more known for his name rather than his goalscoring ability, the ex-Arsenal man went on loan to five different clubs in ten years before signing a three-year contract with Panathinaikos in 2011 where he currently averages a goal every 10 games.

7. Rafael Marquez

A Barcelona and Mexico legend, Marquez was a rock at centre-back during the height of his career. A two-year link-up with MLS side New York Red Bulls has now finished, but Mexican side Club Leon tempted him back to his homeland, and he has made 13 appearances for them so far.

6. Michael Johnson

Dubbed “The New Steven Gerrard”, Johnson’s promising career has been blighted by mental health issues, serious knee injuries and drink-driving charges. Recent pictures of Johnson show his weight to have ballooned, and at the moment he is a free agent after being released by Manchester City.

5. Kleberson

Another 2002 World Cup winner, Kleberson moved to Manchester United in 2003 where he was berated for a series of lamentable displays. He mustered just two goals during his two-year stay, and now plays for Philadelphia Union in the MLS.

4. Amr Zaki

Described by then Wigan manager Steve Bruce as being “as strong as an ox”, Zaki has disappeared from the international footballing eye. The Egyptian striker was a goalscorer with strength and pace – in much the same mould as Alan Shearer – but now finds himself a free agent after problems with his commitment, injuries and professionalism. Zaki did sign a deal with Egyptian club ENPPI in 2013 but his contract was terminated by mutual consent after a heated disagreement.

3. Alex Manninger

The Austrian stopper boasts Arsenal and Juventus among his former clubs but he has opted to continue his career with FC Augsburg in the Bundesliga after lengthy and impressive spells in England and Italy.

2. Dani Guiza

Having spearheaded a devilish Spanish attack with David Villa for several seasons, Dani Guiza’s career has been steadily disintegrating. A big-money move to Fenerbahce ended after three years when he scored just 23 goals. A strange move to Malaysian side Darul Takzim, where he netted six times in 10 games, is the latest chapter in his career. He is still owned by La Liga side Getafe where his clinical finishing will inevitably still be in demand.

1. Angelos Charisteas

The final man on the list, and perhaps a footballer with the biggest fall in notoriety ever. Charisteas became a hero in his native Greece when he scored the only goal of the game against Portugal in the 2004 European Championship final. Since then he has played at Ajax, Feyenoord and Schalke without much success. He currently plays in obscure surroundings for Al Nassr in Saudi Arabia’s Professional League.